Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Why being a single mummy works for me

I am writing this now because things are organised, things are going well, so I can look back on the days that I wonder........... how will I get through this?

I read a lot of articles where single parents complain about the stigma of being a single parents. I hope I am not the only lucky one out there that has not come across this stigma. Maybe I just do not realise that it is being thought about me. I have a fantastic family that congratulates and encourages my life choices and are always there if I need support or just a hug.

So, why does it work for me?

I have a hard day at work, today has been especially stressful, especially tiring. I cycle to holiday club head on into the wind. I panic about what I am going to make for dinner. I worry about whether Tor has been a good boy all day. I realise my bottom is a tad damp because my bike seat was wet from the rain. I must remember not to sit down at holiday club and leave a bottom shaped print on the chair. Do I need to get anything from the shop? Did I promise Tor that we would do anything particular this evening?

Being a single parent means that only I have these things to think or worry about. But, to me, that is a good thing. Its a good thing because I am in control of what we have for dinner. I am in control of how I greet Tor after a very long day. I should have been in control of my bike but I wasnt as the head wind was really bad!

I love the fact that it is me that hears the silly things that Tor says. I love the fact that it is me that he pours his love out to.

"Right Tor, should we have something out of the freezer for dinner?"
"Yes, what is there?"
"Quorn burgers?"
"Sounds nice"
"What do you want with your burger?"
" A plum"


I put on the One Direction cd. (Don't groan too much!) We play Go Piggy Go whilst dinner is cooking. I tell him which song is my favourite. Tor tells me his favourite song is 'What makes you beautiful' .

"Because its about you Mummy"

Its those comments that make me know that it is all worth while. Would I hear that if I wasn't a single parent. Would he see me in a different light if there was another person permanently in our home?

I can guide my son in the way I think is right. I can help him grow into a young man. I feel empowered to me me. I feel I am doing a good job.

So to everyone out there, be it a single parent or not. If it works for you, it works. If you feel comfortable with your life, its right.

I am enjoying my life, we are a good team.

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