A cold sausage

For the first time in ages I fancied picking up the laptop and writing a new blog. I am not really sure why I have been away for so long but hey, if it does not feel right do not do it.

I have been on quite a journey over the last couple of months and now feel I have reached a destination that I feel comfortable in. I will not ever reach my final destination as the joy of life is all the twists and turns. No matter how difficult or up hill the journey, all the pit stops are so fulfilling.

My little boy is growing into a fine young lad and is so eager to be six years old. He has had his own journey especially since the beginning of the summer holidays.

This is our first experience of the six week break and we have both found it hard to some extent. Personally I have struggled with the fact that I do not feel that I am giving him the break that he needs. But also I have realised that even if I am feeling this, it does not make it fact. It is my feeling not his.

He has experienced a long car journey, an amazing castle, sand and sea between his toes. Hugs and giggles with missed family. He has imagined different worlds with friends of all ages, played with toys he does not have at home. He has washed lego in the bath, slept in the clothes he has worn all day.

He came home to a loving household after a week away where he was able to watch television that he is normally not allowed to, visited museums, run through woods, splashed in muddy puddles and not had a bath for over a week.

He still has a birthday party to go to, a fancy dress party to experience, a picnic with school friends and their families. We have a new kite to try out, new shoes and trainers to try on and bring home.

If I was always at home with him, all the amazing things he has been doing probably wouldn't have happened. He is blossoming because of the world around him and the experiences he has had. Mummy is always here at the end of each day. That is what matters.

I sat with him this evening and he asked me to point to my heart. He put his ear to where I pointed and sat listening. "Woooah it goes so fast". When he sat up, "Mummy your turn". He tucked my hair behind my ear so I could listen and sat as still as a statue whilst I heard the joyful beat of his heart. He moved and asked "Can I eat the cold sausage that's in the fridge?"