I am writing this at the time that Tor will be coming out of school and walking across to his after school club. I am at home. I have a day off work today.
I'm finding the middle ground.
That piece of ground that balances the need for time to myself and the guilt of not picking Tor up from school.
People have often told me that I am a selfless person but today I am being selfish. I took Tor to school this morning which was a treat for both of us. It was lovely walking with him hand in hand talking about the plans for the weekend. I have had a busy day of getting all of those little jobs done and now I can just sit and listen to Nina Simone, drinking tea and taking time for myself.
I do feel slightly guilty but I have to remember that times like this do not happen very often. We have amazing times together and no one will ever know the love I feel for my child.
It is important to be able to refresh yourself. To sit back and have time to think. To not have the tornado that is my son, chatting away about wizards and sheep.
So I feel comfortable at finding my middle ground.