Its not often I post about single mummyness. For me it was a choice to become a single parent and one I will never regret. Parenting on the whole is extremely difficult and that goes for all types of families so I do not feel anyone has the right to say who has it worst off or have a martyr attitude.
Today, however I wanted to post on how amazing it is to be a single mummy on mothers day. I have to admit I have had some rather stressful or disappointing mothers days previously and maybe that has had a lot to do with silly expectations and/or my attitude leading up to the day.
This was my 6th mothers day as a mother and my 3rd as a single parent.
The run up to mothers day has been very quick, I don't know about you but this year and especially March has been absolute mayhem and is going very fast. On the odd opportunities of reading fellow bloggers posts I have come across people excited for mothers day and also people loathing it and seeing it as commercialism gone too far. I have mixed emotions.
I see it as a time to be able to express your love and thanks to your family. To share the goodwill to your friends. But most I see it as a special time to make the day spectacular for my son as well as giving myself something to look back on with happiness.
As a single mummy you do miss out on the things like being given a lie in or breakfast in bed. Maybe some years you do not get a card or a present. This completely depends on the age of your children, your family and your children's father.
I am a very lucky single mum.
My relationship with Tors dad is very good at the moment. We are able to chat freely about Tor, able to organise visits easily. This was a bonus this year as he very kindly took Tor to the shop to pick out a very lovely card and helped him to write in in. It was a very lovely surprise and Tor was very proud when he gave it to me. And yes, I sent his dad a thank you text to say I appreciated the thought. Simple things make such a big difference.
My amazing mummy sneaked in a gorgeous little token for Tor to give me and I have had at least four coffee's in it already (can you guess what it was?). Such a lovely thought and her way of ensuring I do not miss out on the things that a lot of two parent families experience.
Ok, now I realise I am rambling on. I will get to the point!
Having a fantastic mothers day for single mothers I think has a lot to do with your own attitude. I woke up feeling positive and thinking whatever happens it will be a lovely day. If you wake up scared of it then I do believe you bring on negativity yourself. Although this is easier said than done.
I thought of the things that both Tor and myself enjoy to do. This day isn't just about me its about our relationship. Lets face it, I wouldn't be a mother without him!
So mentally I listed the things I thought would be great.
1) Nice breakfast
2) Making Tors Pterosaur wings - he has been asking for ages and the first attempt was a definite fail!
3) Reading together
4) Baking cakes
5) Tickling and hugging
When we both woke up and he proudly showed me the card and yes, you guessed it my new cup (with little bear) we went down for breakfast. Tor who is a weetabix monster had his usual, I treated myself to croissants. No television was my rule, and as it was mothers day there was no whining! So we had it as a picnic on the living room floor.
Breakfast over by 6.30am and I told him I was going to make the Pterosour wings. There was a "woohoo" and a "really?" and then the cutest "oh your amazing mummy".
I set to work whilst my six year old sat on me, climbed on my back, wiggled when I tried to measure him, played with lego, sat on me, wiggled, tripped over the lego. Halfway through I remember I am on call for work and I rush to check for messages.......phew there was none. I take a break, I have a coffee. My neck hurts. The happiness and excitedness that Tor was showing made it so worthwhile.
Tor was over the moon with the finished wings. I have to admit I was quite impressed with myself!
After a lot of flying off furniture and flapping about he asked if he could watch his walking with dinosaurs video. Now I am cracking down on the amount of television watched. But, today, why not. I said yes. He hot footed it upstairs and I enjoyed a coffee and time to post my silent sunday picture.
When he came down he asked if with could go to the museum. Now this wasn't on my mental list. What a fantastic idea! Yes, yes, yes, I would love to go to the museum. So we did! Tor flapped his way donning a pirate hat to the bus. Flapped his way down the street to the museum and dashed straight to the dinosaur room. We had lots of fun. It was very quiet so we were able to jump from room to room and I let him show me everything. There was lots of "oohs", lots of "come and look at this". I was blessed to be with my boy so excited.
The rest of our day involved baking cakes, reading, homework, watching The Little Mermaid, eating cakes, reading, laughing, hugging.
Generally it was amazing. It was happy and it was perfect for me.
So, single parents out there, you do not need to miss out on the celebrations, you make it how you wish. If you want to be stressed you will be. If you invite hostility it will come. But, if you hold your head up high, if you laugh, if you smile, It will be the most amazing day of the year.
Mmmm, yummy cakes!
Happy Mothers Day to everyone.